lawyer jokes

Lawyer Jokes

Question and answer jokes
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!

Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.

A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"
The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"

Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers

Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

Q: What�s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.

Check out more lawyer jokes below

Question and answer  The stupid questions  You won't go to jail  Lawyer consultation 
What a great bargain Hunting attorneys  Excess billing hours The cost of a brain 
What type of tracks? Resolve our problem


Anonymous prank joke  - Send dog poop by mail

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- Boss at work that you dont like
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- Someone that just cheated on you
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- An arrogant person you know at school
- A funny prank to pull on someone at college
- Wedding gift for someone you hate
- Present for someone who gossips all the time
- Perfect gift for someone that breaks up with you
- Funny Christmas present for someone
- April Fools joke
- A friend not feeling well with note saying "I heard you were feeling like crap"


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Just tell us who to send it to and we do the rest!
Please allow 5-7 days for smelly dog poop to arrive at their house

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Lawyer Jokes

This site does not use any real poop. Victim will receive fake dog poop.